Few things are as addictive to me as my favorite songs. Today I'm having a little issue though: I heard a snippet of one of my faves, and it's stuck in my head! (Busta Rhymes, "I Love My Chick")
Everybody tells me the same thing: the only way you'll get it out of your head is to sing it. So here I am, singing it. My princess is dancing around now, and it's so funny. She's an absolute riot.
Maybe the song being stuck awasn't such a bad thing after all...it turned into a really good time PLUS a cute Brooklyn moment!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Ahh, the life of a new mommy. You have an adorable little muffin who spits up on you, keeps you awake, and wreaks havoc on your body. And then, just when you're at your breaking point, the little darling begins to show you affection. Which makes EVERYTHING worth it. You glow all over again, and everything is sunshine because you now have the sweetest, most adorable prize ever!
However...
There are some effects to the Mommy Metamorphosis that we could definitely do without--the flabby arms, saggby boobs, and tire tummies. Before you run out and buy that Stairmaster or Gazelle, peep THIS:
THE BABY-POUNDS WEIGHT AND FITNESS REGIME!
This all-in-one fitness regimen, fondly referred to the world over as the BABY, takes care of all that. It wakes you in the morning with a patented wail: NO TWO ARE ALIKE! In the mad dash to fulfill the system's caloric needs, you will tone your calves AND firm up that tush! (No more pillow butt!) The BABY sounds off with an alarm wail if you take too long to complete the repetitions of FIX FOOD, FEED BABY, COAX BABY, CLEAN UP BABY. It's as simple as pie!
The BABY's weight program is unequaled by any other fitness system in the known universe. It automatically gains weight periodically to increase your lifting ability. To keep things interesting, the BABY has three random levels of resistance. MOMMY HOLD ME!, PLAYFUL BABY, and LIMP TODDLER. You never know what you'll get, but your arms will thank you.
The BABY doesn't just tone your arms. There are several appetite control mechanisms, ranging from GROSS OUT (the BABY poops or spits up something inhuman) to WANT MOMMY FOOD (where the BABY demolishes whatever's on your plate).
What's more, this fitness program upgrades itself. No need to order another, unless you wish. There is no software to purchase. All you need is a big heart (the BABY does require affection--the unconditional kind!) and a willingness to commit to the program for the rest of your natural life. (Contrary to rumors, it DOESN'T stop at 18!)
The BABY arrives as a compact, uncomplicated device. As time passes, it gains weight and height. The program tailors itself, but is programmable to suit your needs. (Programing is hard, but totally worth it--your BABY will bring you years of fitness if you're diligent and persevere through the initial tough days!) THe BABY is available in all skin tones, sizes, reliogions, creeds, and races. Not that any of that matters: you'll love your BABY the moment it arrives.
Recommended accessories:
The BAG--holds the BABY's accessories and upkeep implememts...also a lifting device.The SEAT: Protect your BABY in the car!The STROLLER: Adds about 25 pounds to your BABY in a neat, three-or-four wheeled rolling device. For optimal performance, we recommend taking the stroller to the park of the mall.The TOYS: Entertains BABY and keeps him or her happy while you're not exercising.The CRIB: A safe place for your BABY to recharge after a long day.
Accessories vary by location and are available in retail store,, outlets, and other venues WORLDWIDE! PRices range from REASONABLE to PRICEY to WTF...choose according to your income and enjoy!
Warning: As with any program, the BABY may not be exactly what you expect. It arrives relatively new, and there may be bugs and unforeseen challenges to work out. But no worries--well, maybe a few....or a LOT--the BABY will far exceed it's cost and upkeep.
Also note: The BABY does eventually become a TEENAGER. At which point, you're on your own!
However...
There are some effects to the Mommy Metamorphosis that we could definitely do without--the flabby arms, saggby boobs, and tire tummies. Before you run out and buy that Stairmaster or Gazelle, peep THIS:
THE BABY-POUNDS WEIGHT AND FITNESS REGIME!
This all-in-one fitness regimen, fondly referred to the world over as the BABY, takes care of all that. It wakes you in the morning with a patented wail: NO TWO ARE ALIKE! In the mad dash to fulfill the system's caloric needs, you will tone your calves AND firm up that tush! (No more pillow butt!) The BABY sounds off with an alarm wail if you take too long to complete the repetitions of FIX FOOD, FEED BABY, COAX BABY, CLEAN UP BABY. It's as simple as pie!
The BABY's weight program is unequaled by any other fitness system in the known universe. It automatically gains weight periodically to increase your lifting ability. To keep things interesting, the BABY has three random levels of resistance. MOMMY HOLD ME!, PLAYFUL BABY, and LIMP TODDLER. You never know what you'll get, but your arms will thank you.
The BABY doesn't just tone your arms. There are several appetite control mechanisms, ranging from GROSS OUT (the BABY poops or spits up something inhuman) to WANT MOMMY FOOD (where the BABY demolishes whatever's on your plate).
What's more, this fitness program upgrades itself. No need to order another, unless you wish. There is no software to purchase. All you need is a big heart (the BABY does require affection--the unconditional kind!) and a willingness to commit to the program for the rest of your natural life. (Contrary to rumors, it DOESN'T stop at 18!)
The BABY arrives as a compact, uncomplicated device. As time passes, it gains weight and height. The program tailors itself, but is programmable to suit your needs. (Programing is hard, but totally worth it--your BABY will bring you years of fitness if you're diligent and persevere through the initial tough days!) THe BABY is available in all skin tones, sizes, reliogions, creeds, and races. Not that any of that matters: you'll love your BABY the moment it arrives.
Recommended accessories:
The BAG--holds the BABY's accessories and upkeep implememts...also a lifting device.The SEAT: Protect your BABY in the car!The STROLLER: Adds about 25 pounds to your BABY in a neat, three-or-four wheeled rolling device. For optimal performance, we recommend taking the stroller to the park of the mall.The TOYS: Entertains BABY and keeps him or her happy while you're not exercising.The CRIB: A safe place for your BABY to recharge after a long day.
Accessories vary by location and are available in retail store,, outlets, and other venues WORLDWIDE! PRices range from REASONABLE to PRICEY to WTF...choose according to your income and enjoy!
Warning: As with any program, the BABY may not be exactly what you expect. It arrives relatively new, and there may be bugs and unforeseen challenges to work out. But no worries--well, maybe a few....or a LOT--the BABY will far exceed it's cost and upkeep.
Also note: The BABY does eventually become a TEENAGER. At which point, you're on your own!
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